Post by Tammi21 on Jul 13, 2005 15:13:35 GMT -5
I seen this on another massage board and I thought I would share.
Feeling confused about training and dogs?
Read this and relax.
DON'T!................
DON'T let your dog sleep in your bed. It will cause aggression problems down the road.
DON'T make your dog sleep in a crate. Crate is just another word for a small cage.
DON'T let your dogs sleep outside at night.
DON'T let your dog sleep; you should be playing with him all the time.
DON'T keep more than 2 dogs. Each dog requires considerable time and
energy, and it is impossible for a reasonable dog owner to spend quality time with more than 2 dogs.
DON'T keep less than 5 dogs. Dogs are pack animals, and five dogs is
the minimum number for proper socialization.
DON'T feed your dog kibble. Kibble is the invention of evil capitalists who want your money, and kibble has no nutritional value whatsoever. You might as well feed your dog sawdust.
DON'T cook your dogs meat or chicken. Cooking destroys all the
nutrients.
DON'T feed your dog raw meat or chicken. Raw food contains salmonella, e-coli, and other harmful bacteria.
DON'T let your dog drink out of a plastic bowl. It will turn his nose pink.
DON'T poke your eye with a sharp stick. It has nothing to do with dogs but is a good rule nonetheless.
DON'T microchip your dog. A nearby cell phone can cause a micro chipped dog to explode, or so says the lady running the tattoo shop.
DON'T tattoo your dog on the ear. A dog thief can cut off the tattooed ear.
DON'T tattoo your dog on the thigh. He'll be a tripod before you can say GINSU.
DON'T keep a collar on your dog when unattended. He could get caught
on something and choke.
DON'T leave your dog unattended without a collar. He could run away
without any identification.
DON'T transport your dog in a plastic crate. Plastic crates don't allow sufficient airflow.
DON'T transport your dog in a wire crate. In a car accident, a wire crate transforms into a doggie skewer.
DON'T let your dog drive. It's against the law in many states.
DON'T enter your dog in conformation. It's b-o-r-i-n-g for the dog.
DON'T enter your dog in obedience. It's B-o-r-i-n-g with a capital "B".
DON'T enter your dog in agility. The jumps will injure his joints.
DON'T send your dog out with a handler. Only a psychopath would send
their beloved pet with a complete stranger.
DON'T handle the dog yourself. You've got a great dog, and he deserves a much better handler than you will ever be.
DON'T get a purebred dog. Too much inbreeding has produced dogs with
temperament and health problems.
DON'T get a mutt. You don't know anything about their pedigree. In fact, if you're thinking about getting a dog, get a cat instead.
DON'T. Don't. That's right, you heard me, just don't.
DON'T leave your dog's dewclaws intact. He will rip one off jumping a log or something, which is quite painful.
DON'T remove your dog's dewclaws. Dewclaws are acupuncture points
that are needed for proper functioning of the kidneys.
AND, the #1 DON'T....
DON'T trim your dog's whiskers. Dogs use their whiskers to determine
the size of their head, which is important when they are out shopping for a new hat.
Feeling confused about training and dogs?
Read this and relax.
DON'T!................
DON'T let your dog sleep in your bed. It will cause aggression problems down the road.
DON'T make your dog sleep in a crate. Crate is just another word for a small cage.
DON'T let your dogs sleep outside at night.
DON'T let your dog sleep; you should be playing with him all the time.
DON'T keep more than 2 dogs. Each dog requires considerable time and
energy, and it is impossible for a reasonable dog owner to spend quality time with more than 2 dogs.
DON'T keep less than 5 dogs. Dogs are pack animals, and five dogs is
the minimum number for proper socialization.
DON'T feed your dog kibble. Kibble is the invention of evil capitalists who want your money, and kibble has no nutritional value whatsoever. You might as well feed your dog sawdust.
DON'T cook your dogs meat or chicken. Cooking destroys all the
nutrients.
DON'T feed your dog raw meat or chicken. Raw food contains salmonella, e-coli, and other harmful bacteria.
DON'T let your dog drink out of a plastic bowl. It will turn his nose pink.
DON'T poke your eye with a sharp stick. It has nothing to do with dogs but is a good rule nonetheless.
DON'T microchip your dog. A nearby cell phone can cause a micro chipped dog to explode, or so says the lady running the tattoo shop.
DON'T tattoo your dog on the ear. A dog thief can cut off the tattooed ear.
DON'T tattoo your dog on the thigh. He'll be a tripod before you can say GINSU.
DON'T keep a collar on your dog when unattended. He could get caught
on something and choke.
DON'T leave your dog unattended without a collar. He could run away
without any identification.
DON'T transport your dog in a plastic crate. Plastic crates don't allow sufficient airflow.
DON'T transport your dog in a wire crate. In a car accident, a wire crate transforms into a doggie skewer.
DON'T let your dog drive. It's against the law in many states.
DON'T enter your dog in conformation. It's b-o-r-i-n-g for the dog.
DON'T enter your dog in obedience. It's B-o-r-i-n-g with a capital "B".
DON'T enter your dog in agility. The jumps will injure his joints.
DON'T send your dog out with a handler. Only a psychopath would send
their beloved pet with a complete stranger.
DON'T handle the dog yourself. You've got a great dog, and he deserves a much better handler than you will ever be.
DON'T get a purebred dog. Too much inbreeding has produced dogs with
temperament and health problems.
DON'T get a mutt. You don't know anything about their pedigree. In fact, if you're thinking about getting a dog, get a cat instead.
DON'T. Don't. That's right, you heard me, just don't.
DON'T leave your dog's dewclaws intact. He will rip one off jumping a log or something, which is quite painful.
DON'T remove your dog's dewclaws. Dewclaws are acupuncture points
that are needed for proper functioning of the kidneys.
AND, the #1 DON'T....
DON'T trim your dog's whiskers. Dogs use their whiskers to determine
the size of their head, which is important when they are out shopping for a new hat.