Need list (advice)for new dog owners

[akinito]

Hi gurus,
I desperately need a list of advices to give to my sister whose kids want to get a dog. Firstly, I do not think they should get one ..maybe years from now..Here's her situation:
*She is 52yrsold, had history of "chem imbalance" (don't know exactly the medical term) ..she could never handle stress well, esp if she didn't get her 8hr sleep. Works full time-as a nurse.
*She has 9 & 11yr old girls - slightly undisciplined -the 11yr old and my sister don't get along well..the girl can manipulate her and she's the main reason my sis is leaning toward getting a dog..to satisfy the 11yr old.
*She has an 18yrd old boy, who is off to college..
*the father..forget it...my sis knows the father doesn't want a dog.
*the house..forget it...it's like a hurricane goes through it every week. My sis has never been a 'cleaner/organizer'...so the children were never disciplined to pick up after themselves.
*they don't have a fence and not getting one
*they just installed new carpeting, new bedrm furnitures, lots of new things coz they won the lottery(less than amillion) 2yrs ago.

After telling her that it is a bad idea...after my experience(I can handle stress way better than her)...she might get another episode of her illness. She will be the only one taking care of the dog, walking, housetrain, etc. Her kids(girls) promises her they'll train the dog..i say..yah, right! No way these kids are gonna do the "consistency and firmness" thing that goes with training...am i right?DO NOT give in to those pleas. I told her that her situation is a classic case why dog professionals interview future dog owners...so they don't give them back. The kids want a puppy..the usual.."I want a cuddly one".
Just the other day, they went to see someone that was giving away a miniature doberman ..thank God the owner really observed the kids with the pup (dunno how young)..the pup kinda let out a small 'growl' when they were petting him...later on, the owner told my sis that she can't give the dog coz she's afraid the dog might hurt them. I told my sis THAT'S A SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!
I am now praying she doesn't go through with this...this has been an issue for about a year now.
Last sign: she asked me: If we get one (puppy) and it doesn't work out, we can return it right? I said yes but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...if you're thinking that way...don't get one!

I have exhausted myself..it's stressing me
I will print your responses and give it to her...
Dont get me wrong...I love my Ringo now...when he was a pup, it was reallllllllllllly hard..but i made it coz all of us helped out ;D

marsha

[sibemom]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEY ARE NOT CAPABLE OF HANDELING A DOG, MUCH LESS A PUPPY
When you choose to get a pet it is a commitment for the life of the pet, unless some weird unforseen genetic mental issue comes up and in my opinon that would be the ONLY REASON, except for financial hardship to rehome them. This is not the case. The way you describe their situation is that of being able to handle a PET ROCK not a dog, not a cat, NOT ANYTHING BREATHING. Not only would your sister get stuck doing all the work with the dog, but I bet it would not be WELL TRAINED, WELL MANNERED, etc...... I HOPE THIS HELPS PLEASE FEEL FREE TO PRINT THIS OUT

[Richard]

People who don't have a dog see other people with dogs that are well behaved/trained don't see all the work that goes on behind the scenes...they just think it's a piece of cake to own a dog ---->WRONG!!

The thought of that family (in it's current state) getting a puppy is a major recipe for disaster and the dog will come up the loser - big time! Perhaps they should all do a "self assessment" first and look at the reasons why they want a dog. Someone in that family needs to take control (an adult preferably) and cancel this plan ASAP!

One of the big rules in deciding to get a dog (or not) is never say that you're buying the dog for the kids!!.

A lot of times that is the biggest mistake parents will make cuz they're the ones who end up taking care of the dog. Kids just don't have the brains at a young age to figure out that a dog is a living, breathing, eating, pooping and potentially a chewer, destructor and a biter...there are waaaay too many reasons why they shouldn't get one at this time - Ann has listed a few and I'm sure there are a lot more to consider as well.

I know there is no perfect time to bring a dog into a home but there at least has to be 100% consensus amongst the members of the family if it is going to happen. Getting the dog on a whim of an 11 year old simply isn't enough (IMHO) to justify the expense, time and effort to have a dog in their family.

A reality check is in order if anything, it will save time, money and those new carpets!

[Aussienot]

Has your sister and her husband developed a plan for how they are going to make space in their lives for a dog?

How much money have they set aside for the essential equipment they will need: a crate, leash and collar, at least a dozen play toys, a bed, a water dish and a food dish, a brush and a comb for grooming, and nail clippers would be a very basic start up kit.

What plans are in place for daily exercise - where will they find the time for a 20 -30 minute walk EVERY day, and 20 -30 minutes play and or training EVERY day? How much time will the dog spend alone each day, and what life enrichment strategies do they have to entertain the dog when they are away?

How much can they spend on the dog's health - regular wellness vet checks, pest control and worming, and desexing? What food do they plan to feed, and how much can their weekly budged absorb?

Who will take responsibility for training and managing the dog's behavior? What training clubs or trainers are available in their area?

That's some of the basic fundamentals for an adult dog.

If they are thinking about a puppy, who is going to give up 3 -4 weeks of their life to house train and shape the behavior. Who is able to supervise the puppy 24/7? Who is willing to go without sleep for several days? Who will deal with the behavior problems of the teenage months, when the puppy is no longer cuddly?

It's not just the 'getting' a dog, it's the upkeep that's difficult. When you get a dog you are committing to provide for all of its needs for the next 10 -20 years. If they can answer these questions honestly and still think they are ready for a dog, go for it. Choose an adult dog from an appropriate breed or mix. If any of these questions raise red flags, maybe they should wait awhile to get a pet.

[Richard]

Ok, if you just print out Aussie's post that is the most succinct way of explaining it to your sister...me and Ann hedged around but Linda NAILED IT!!!

[akinito]

THANK YOU ALL for your excellent advice!!!
I will certainly pass this on to her. Heck I'll even print it for the 11yr old!
As I was reading your responses...I was saying out loud "I KNOW!!" as in agreeing with all of your statements...remember Monica in the Friends show, how she says it...same tone over here. ;D
ok back to the problem:
When she first asked for my advice last year..she agreed with me that she won't get one and break the bad news to her kids. This was b4 xmas...then when I talked to her last night..she changed her mind and told me about their trip to the doberman lady. I was in shock. Believe me, I specifically told her about the many trips to take him (puppy) out to housetrain; to watch it 'like a hawk', to be consistent, etc. OF course, that was the one of many 'big' things to think about.
With her 'medical history' , I 'recruited' my other sister, who's a doctor, to talk to her and convince her that it is a bad idea. ANd she totally agrees with me.
Hopefully...she follows all our advice and not be manipulated.
Personally, I think they all should go to counseling..if she has a problem with her daughter..o, well...that's another story.

THANKS AGAIN....

[Laura]

Indeed, Linda hit that spot on, and if you really want the coup de grace for the "why you shouldn't own a dog" arguement, go find someone with a youngish, unhousebroken, tasmanian devil of a dog, bring it over to your sisters for several hours and let it loose .

Piles of poop, shredded furniture and the general havoc should do the trick ;D.

[sibemom]

Yes I think Aussie summed it up nicely I think Laura has a good idea to, if you know someone with a NOT SO WELL BEHAIVED pup, take it over and let them spend some time with it, if that does not open their eyes NOTHING WILL